Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
