he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
