In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
