Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
