I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
