He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I know her cup size but not her name....
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize