im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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