quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
