Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just blew my weed a kiss
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
