Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
