operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
