My nipple is on Facebook.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Randomize
