I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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