why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
