new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
