You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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