If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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