This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Still dying that you shit outside
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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