I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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