Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
