Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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