she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
What drink are we having for lunch?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Drunk is not a location!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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