Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
