Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize