sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize