i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
