So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
