Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize