I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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