you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize