i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize