I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
