I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
