Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize