My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
