i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
