I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize