$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
