the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
