Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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