I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
