I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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