Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
