Pappa wants mamma naked
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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