No awkward lesbian experiences without me
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
