I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
