This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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