I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
