hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
