Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
