he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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