I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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