i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
