She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
