Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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