Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
