New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
